Blue Eyes: boy

i thought i'd kiss her maybe get to do her, strip her down, fuck her, smoke a cigarette, tell her my best stories for an hour, say yes to morning coffee, watch her pad around in her underwear, take her number maybe or say i'd add her, remind her of what i'd said the night before about relationships and how i'm having none of that. i'm not there in my life, then smile, check my pockets for everything so i'd never have to come back again, and leave. i'd done it a thousand times before and what the fuck! why not once more because she was the hottest girl in the place. it was such a score when she finally let me kiss her, but she made me work for it. not with drinks or Content, you know? like who i was or what i did or whatever. what she made me do was let her read me, like a goddam fucking letter. i had to look her in the eyes, Jeezuz Fuck, those eyes! look her in the eyes and admit that i had never been in this position in my life. without words. just a silent, i don't know, humbleness? but there was no challenge. i mean, she didn't challenge me like a badass. i've been through those kinds of girls and their fucking hardcore bullshit. no, this one, wow, she just blushed and fucking Twinkled and sparkled i guess, and guessed my age and what i did and where i was from and made me feel like a little boy whose only fucking objective in life was to please her. that's how it started. fuck.